


Austria Regrets Teaching the Others to Play Instruments

by FinSu



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Band Fic, Comedy, Gen, Humor, Marching Band, band humor, trumpets are annoying as hell, you can never hear the clarinets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-18 02:11:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2331365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FinSu/pseuds/FinSu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hetalia band AU! Starring lots of characters. And Austria as the poor conductor. In case you non-band geeks are wondering, people with certain personalities tend to play certain instruments. I myself am a clarinet. People say we're quiet because you can never fucking hear us play. THAT IS THE FAULT OF THE TRUMPETS!</p>
<p>Sorry folks, it's only a oneshot! Might make a sequel if the people demand it.</p>
<p>When Austria had given a group of assembled nations instruments and music, Germany had a strong feeling that it wouldn't end well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Austria Regrets Teaching the Others to Play Instruments

**Author's Note:**

> WOODWINDS
> 
> Flutes: Sweden (also plays piccolo), Prussia, Taiwan, and Belarus  
> Oboe: Iceland  
> Clarinets: Latvia, Vietnam (also Bass Clarinet), China, Japan, Kugelmugel, and Ukraine  
> Saxes: France (Alto and Soprano), South Italy (Alto), North Italy (Tenor), and Hungary (Bari)
> 
> BRASS
> 
> Trumpets: Denmark, America, South Korea...they make enough noise just the 3 of them  
> French Horns: Switzerland and Liechtenstein  
> Trombones: Norway (enjoys whacking Denmark with his slide), Estonia, and Lithuania  
> Baritone: Russia  
> Tuba: Finland
> 
> PERCUSSION
> 
> Bass Drum: Germany  
> Cymbals: Spain  
> Snare Drum: Canada  
> Timpani: Ladonia  
> Bells: Greece and Turkey  
> TomTom: England  
> Accessory Items (like shakers): TRNC, Sealand, Wy, Molossia, NikoNiko, and Hutt River
> 
> They learned their instruments and music quickly IDK because of their abilities as Nations? Though most band classes are spent screwing around, telling jokes, and hearing funny stories.

Austria sighed in frustration. The brass fucked their music up yet again, he couldn't hear the clarinets despite them having the melody, and Spain kept clashing the cymbals in inappropriate parts of the song.

He gazed around the room. Contrary to public opinion, he did not have any say what-so-ever in who was given what instrument. It just so happened that Sweden was given the piccolo and flute, small and fragile instruments he could barely fit his fingers on, the most obnoxious Nations in the world (not including Prussia) all had the trumpet which was the loudest instrument, and Finland the tiny secret badass was given a huge tuba.

The Nations were getting restless, shuffling music and gossiping with their neighbors. Austria gave up, dismissing him for a break as he went to write out a plan to get them to listen.

The flutes had behaved perfectly, except for Prussia's snide comments. 

Iceland just sat quietly and sulked as Norway pestered him to call him "big brother."

The clarinets had been annoyed that nobody could hear them; several of them were playing so loud they squeaked and yet were still not audible. 

France had been flirting with the oblivious North Italy and angry South Italy, who threatened to bash the Frenchman with his saxophone.

Denmark, America, and South Korea had been making innuendoes, playing way too loud, and goofing off. 

Switzerland threatened to beat the trumpets up with his Peace Prize.

Norway was threatening the blabbering Dane with his trombone and spit valve, while Estonia and Lithuania sweatdropped.

Much to everyone's surprise, Russia and Finland had been chatting civilly the whole time. Not one argument.

The percussion had been chaos. Germany lost his voice after an hour of screaming at the rest of his section, reducing most of the micronations to tears, which resulted in them going to Sweden for comfort, successfully distracting the gentle giant who was now apparently on babysitting duty as of then. Sweden had not been pleased with Germany for yelling at the children.

Austria thought to himself, "Since sitting down and playing failed miserably...why don't we try marching." He would quickly come to regret that choice.

The woodwinds had not been at all pleased about being in the very back of the field. Iceland had taken up the clarinet too (no marching with oboes-the reeds are too fragile.) One of the clarinets whined that now they would definitely not be heard.

For some reason, the Annoying Trumpet Trio decided to play as loud as humanly possible, which resulted in several noise complaints and threats from police.

Sweden had taken the kids to a nearby park, partly to get their minds off being yelled at so harshly by Germany, partly to avoid the fights he knew would inevitably begin, though the rest of the flutes didn't really seem to care.

Poor Canada had been trying to lead the percussion in marching, but they were terrified of the floating drum.

"Ghost drum!" America cried, pointing at Canada and running in fear. That pissed the gentle Canadian off. This led to a fist fight between the North American brothers. 

Meanwhile, France and England were fighting yet again. England threw a drumstick at France which impaled the poor, innocent saxophone. And another fight started.

Denmark cheered on the fights, so Norway attacked him with the trombone.

The other nations looked on in amusement, some joining in on the fights, some chanting "Fight! Fight! Fight!" like elementary school children.

In all the confusion, Prussia and Hungary started fighting, and Russia was "kolkolkol"ing at South Korea, who groped Ukraine, China, AND Japan.

Austria gave up. He shouted at them until he was almost blue in the face and he lost his voice about how disappointed he was that adult Nations couldn't act their ages. Nobody was ashamed though. But Austria had a secret weapon, the evil Dr. Beats and the horribly annoying metronome hooked up to a speaker.

Everyone booed and threw those annoying little black dots (the kind that always wind up in your shoes after practice) at Austria until he turned the torture machine off. He gave up completely and went home to drink himself into a coma.

It was around this time that Sweden showed up, micronations in tow. The little ones had gotten hungry while playing so he took them out to dinner. As he stared blankly at his collegues who were still fighting, it began to rain.

"Please stop fighting. You're scaring the children." Sweden's low voice, although quiet, was easily heard under the shouts and cries. Silence resulted.

That silence was shattered when angry bosses began showing up, having been called by Austria's boss about their childish and destructive behavior.

"I regret NOTHING." was the general consensus that night. That was the last time any Nation's boss tried to get a large group of them to do an organized activity together.


End file.
